Navigating Work Relationships

Dealing with my first big girl job out of college this is something very new to me and something I’m still trying to figure it out. This wasn’t a course we took in college like Accounting 101. No, because you learn how to do your job (somewhat) in college not how to act even though learning how to act and behave around others you quickly learn is a big factor in your success at the company. I have noticed that sometimes who you’re friends with and how you act can outweigh others performance in the job. And we all know we’re just fighting for the top spot. **insert shoulder shrug emoji**

In my short time working I have learned to categorize everyone into groups and how to act around each and they go as follows:

Big Boss:

Act normal, Rachie. Come on you got this. Don’t mention sucking cock, oh gosh whatever you do don’t mention sucking cock! (Yes, I have a tendency to talk about sucking cock for some reason.)

There are a few of these “Big Bosses” ie the President of the company, the CEO, and the VPs. Obviously I try my best to be relatable with them and get to know them but they don’t need to know that I went skinny dipping with a bunch of random people from the bar last weekend. I actually have to think about what to share with them. Talk about my dog, everyone loves dogs and I like to think mine is pretty adorable (said every dog owner ever).

I’m not trying to hide my personality but there are just somethings that a 50 year old boss doesn’t understand or want to hear about their 23 year old employee. I let my banana love roam free around them, tell them about how I practice aerial, and tell them my plans to one day open an animal sanctuary. It’s them same as when you were a teenager sneaking out and hanging with those “bad, older kids.” It’s not lying, just omitting some facts.

Kinda Boss, Kinda Friend:

These are those superiors that are closer in age and/or just have more fun and wild personalities. If my boss makes a joke about sex you know damn well I’m cumming (you see what I did there) with another sex joke. These are the ones that I’m a bit closer with and will tell them on Monday ‘yeah man, I had one wild weekend. I’m not drinking again for a while.’ While simultaneously not telling them everything. Will I tell them we meant some people that were obviously into my boyfriend and bought us hella shots? Sure. Will I tell them we went skinny dipping with them? Nope, hell naw. (Remember people, I’m newly 23 living in a semi-new city and it’s fucking summertime.)

Work Friends:

I’m telling them I went skinny dipping with swingers over the weekend.

These are the people that help keep me going during work and I tell all of my fun and insane stories to. I can laugh about other people at work with these people and I can be serious with them. They’re that versatile person that is just a good person to have around.

Even though I love these people and always go to them at work I won’t necessarily be hanging out with them on my weekend. It’s not that we don’t want to but we also realize that we have two very different types of fun and two very different groups of friends. Doesn’t mean we don’t love each other any less, just means we have our separate lives.

Work BFFs:

The best of the best. Not only are they hearing my crazy stories but they are part of my crazy stories. We can go out drinking after working and complain about work to each other. We can meet each others significant others. We drunk text each other. And we truly get each other through the work week. We are each others true confidents at work. We help each other no matter and make sure we’re both prospering. It really is a beautiful type of relationship.

These may not be the same for everyone but these categories help me define who I am around each person at work. It can be hard because sometimes you’re tight with the boss and say something then realize you’re 20 years their younger with no family to take care of and they’re there praying their 12 year old daughter doesn’t end up like you.

Good luck to all navigating these weird, weird relationships.

Enjoying the Now

Our entire lives we’re taught to focus on our future. Don’t do this because it’ll mess with your future. Don’t do that either. Stay on the straight and narrow. Work hard and it’ll pay off later. The same thing said to everyone that even thinks about doing something for themself. But why? Why are we so primed to just focus on our futures and told we’re hippies if we’re ‘living in the moment.’

This has been a big topic on my mind lately. I’m in an entry level job not doing exactly what I want but still enjoy the work. So why am I so worried and focused on moving up before I’m necessarily ready or moving into a certain field. Obviously I need to grind and stay relevant and work my ass off to learn what I need to learn and work to get the job I want but why not enjoy where I am. Appreciate it now.

I have an amazing boyfriend, great friends, traveling where I want, and still working in an enjoyable job, what is there to worry about? Why am I still focused on my future life when I’m already feeling as if my twenties are fleeting away.

Maybe this is a me problem or maybe this is the way or society tells us to be. But for now I’m going to focus more on being happy with where I am, to enjoy the journey to where I want to be. I am not just giving up on my dreams and aspirations and bumming out but I’m not going to waste 15 years of my life planning on where I want to be and wanting more only to get there and be old with saggy boobs and going through menopause. That part went a little wild but you get the point. The point is just to enjoy the now. Take that trip you want to take. Get that fucking tattoo. Talk to that boy. And just be happy and content.

On Birthdays…

Picture this; me sitting there in athletic shorts and an old, oversized university sweatshirt, giggling about how I can’t blow out the trick candles. Me! The most conceited, egotistical, attention loving person. But this is all I wanted for my 23rd birthday. Just a day of laziness and happiness and that is what I got.

My past two birthdays have been absolute ragers. Partying all weekend, hell, all week! Making sure everyone knows it is my birthday and I deserve presents and free shots. Not this year! I forgot to even ask my mom where she put my presents! Maybe it’s because I’m in a real relationship, or taking on my first big girl job, or simply because nobody likes you at 23 (at least I know one person does). All I know is that when I was asked about what I wanted the only thing I could think of was love and appreciation. So is this what growing up is like?

I always rolled my eyes at the girls that said they’re too old for the bar/party scene but is that who I’ve become? Given the chance to go downtown, I turned it down to put on sweats, cuddle, and watch “Remember the Titans.” It’s not that I feel too old to go out but I feel no desire to go out and stay up until 5A.M. Is this how those ‘old’ people feel? Have I peaked at 23? Or am I simply tired from this thing we call life? All valid questions running through my head.

I guess it’s safe to say I will no longer be rolling my eyes at people claiming to be too old for the bars. Although kids, remember, you’re only as old as you feel; unless you feel the same age as an actual kid, then just no, not the same.

No matter what you’re feeling, do what makes you happy. If there’s anything I have learned in the past year that I can look forward to at the dreaded number 23 I can say I learned to take care of me first. The people that are meant to be there will stay and understand. But remember to understand others when they need to take care of themselves too. That got a little jumbled there but self care is always the answer. Stay lit peeps.

I’m Back!

I’m back! Bet you thought you seen the last of me! – Or whatever Emma Roberts says in ‘American Horror Story.’

Yes, yes, I took a long hiatus away from my computer, writing, and life in general. Then something great happened- or maybe someone great happened! My absolutely amazing boyfriend bought me a brand new computer! My motivation didn’t come from the gift itself but the fact that he believes in me and supports me in doing what I love. In the past In the past I lacked that support. From my family and past partners I have had boyfriends who never even read my newspaper articles, even after asking them multiple times. This one just knows what I love to do and wants to help contribute to my happiness. Having just one person believe in me has giving me all the courage I have needed.

Okay, cooling it with the sappy “my boyfriend’s the best” stuff and onto my life after college. Wow it’s been one full year and here I am, still missing the roar of the dorms, the laziness of Wednesday, and the craziness of those second floor library study rooms. On the flip side I can’t stop thinking about my future and who I will be. I am stuck in this limbo of wanting to go back and wanting to move forward and never appreciating the present, and I’m sure many folks in their twenties and even thirties know exactly what I’m talking about.

This blog is a place for me to get all of that craziness out of my system, to express these feelings and to hopefully help and connect with others feeling the same way. But it’s not all business on here, this is supposed to be fun because what’s the point of doing something that you’re not enjoying? Honestly, life is long but life can be short, I’m not wasting this time doing something I don’t enjoy (minus that whole waking up for work thing).

Now that I have successfully ranted… enjoy the blog and don’t hesitate to talk!

PS: Enjoy my handsome puppy because I didn’t know what header photo to use 🙂

Where Do I Fit?

I did the internships.  I did the study abroad.  I did the clubs.  Why is it still not enough?

I have been searching all the career sites, Google, Indeed, LinkedIn, all of them! And yet I still do not seem to have the experience needed for an entry level job! How is that possible?

I read an article that said the job requirements were introduced during the recession when employers had to weed out most candidates because of the surplus of applicants.  The article said companies are now choosing to throw out their requirements due to low unemployment numbers.  Well come on Tampa Bay! Throw away those job requirements for entry level jobs!

Maybe I’m being too picky because I know I am more than the jobs that only require a high school diploma.  And I want a job with benefits.  And make enough to afford that cute little bunny of mine.  But at the same time I don’t want to sell myself short.

There has got to be other recent graduates out there feeling the exact same way as me.  And I know we’ll all get through this confusing time together.

Nostalgia’s a Killer

It’s that time of year again, when everyone is road tripping back to their college campus to kick off Welcome Week.  I’ve been receiving the Snapchats all day, people making the yearly pilgrimage back to the holy land of beer bongs and football games.  And here I am, lying in my bed in the same oversized t-shirt listening to Death Cab for Cutie hoping to get the job, a job, ANY job.

Clichés are clichés for a reason.  College truly was the greatest four years of my life.  The random Wednesday night dorm parties, dancing the night away on Fridays, piecing it all back together at the winery the next day, and the late night study sessions that turned into Chinese takeout parties in the library.  College was the best of times… but it was also the worst of times.

That’s the thing about nostalgia, you tend to forget the bad times which elevates all the good times making you believe you’re leaving your life behind.  I know I cried trying to finish a 30 page paper, I FaceTimed my mother daily to see my her and my pets faces, I endured two heartbreaks, and let’s not forget all the times I was called a slut just because of the sports team I was on.  But I don’t remember all of this, not the same way I remember laying in bed swigging wine and laughing with my three best friends who stumbled into my room one night or the way it felt to be held by the boy I was with.  I can still feel the cold, sweet wine traveling through my body, the ache of my abs from laughter, and the feel of his warm hand on my cheek as he kissed me.  I can’t feel the tears or the stress.

Nostalgia’s a killer because it makes you believe the best is behind you.  When really the best hasn’t even begun.  I’m only 22, I have at least three more heartbreaks in me, a hundred first dates to go on, and countless nights at friends houses drinking wine and eating Ben & Jerry’s while gossiping about the Bachelorette.

Nostalgia may be bringing me down today just like many recent graduates but we will all get through this.  We can’t live the next 80 years reminiscing about the time we snuck into the bar at 19.

It’s Okay to Leave

That’s what my professor would always tell us in class about jobs.  We’re young and in our twenties and no one stays in one job or career field forever anymore anyway.  We can always start over.

Well hopefully this is true because I lasted three weeks and said ‘Nope, this a’int my bag!’

The job sucked.  And yes I know every job at 21 is going to suck but this one really sucked.  We sat in Sam’s Club selling products to customers for eight hours a day.  I’m pretty sure everyone thought I was dumb and was probably a college drop out but here’s the thing, I graduated in four years with two degrees and cum laude, I’m smarting than half the people shopping there.

I understood if you put the work in for a year and got to ownership you could make some good money but I’m not selling my soul for an extra 50K.  And my conscious is way too big to make anyone go through what I went through there.

Bottom line is that I won’t be good at something I have no passion for and passion is not part of their mantra.  I can’t be around people that ONLY care about money and trust me I love money, I love traveling and all my purses are Michael Korrs but come on there is more to life than money.  There’s traveling for service and helping animals.  Things that truly matter in life and are good for the soul and not just the looks.

While in Sam’s one day I did have a nice conversation with a man that said there are three parts to keeping a healthy body and lifestyle.  Most people think there’s just two: physical health and mental health.  But people forget about the soul.  You need to keep your soul healthy to keep the rest in tact.

That hit me hard because this was not fulfilling to the soul.  I’m 21 I should be out partying on the weekend and taking time off to fly to London to see my best friend (possibly in love with) and spending time with my bunny instead of working all day everyday!

I told my friend (the aforementioned love) and he helped me through it saying ‘there’s a difference between working hard and working yourself into the ground.’  Everyone needs some time to theirselves and time for their soul.  I want to volunteer at the shelter on my days off but when you get literally zero days off that’s a little hard.

Anyway I’m 21, a recent college grad, and recently employed and even more recently unemployed.  And THAT’S OKAY.  We’re all just trying to get through this crazy thing we call life.  People say life is short, but it’s the longest thing any of us will ever experience, we might as well spend our time doing something we care about and are PASSIONATE about.