Living Different Lives

My sister and I have two very different views on life and budgeting methods. She is 25 and buying a house. And I just bought two tickets to a concert 1000 miles away. This decision won’t make it any easier for me to buy a house at 25 but when I’m 30 buying my house I’ll be able to decorate it with photos of all of these ‘irresponsible’ decisions (mainly concert tickets). 

I’m not here trying to hate on my sisters decisions either. I’m insanely proud of her for being able to buy a house during these times when most people consider it a ‘far-fetched’ dream. Go you, Becks. But also don’t tell me I don’t know how to budget or that I’m wasting money.

I see it as living my life. Enjoying my twenties. Building my relationship with my significant other. I want to do these crazy things before I have a family to take care. We’re young. All that matters right now is having fun and not absolutely dreading being young and broke. I’m still young and immature and there are no repercussions to me doing what I want. 

Everybody can choose how they want to live their lives. No one is wrong. Unless you’re hurting someone then you are 100% wrong. Let’s not hurt anyone, okay people? But also don’t shame others for how they spend their money, use their vacation days, and pace they move with their partner.

This once again turned into a slight rant but that’s okay because many people are probably feeling the same way. Whether it be from over-achieving siblings or high-expecting parents many people can relate to being budget shamed. In reality no one has life figured out and if you find something that works for you, roll with it.

Post College Relationships

What the fuck are they!?

First off, I have to put that I feel super fortunate to have found someone I truly care about and want to be with. Especially in such an obscure way (not Tinder wow, no hate) of randomly meeting someone at a concert. My friends ask me all the time ‘how do you meet people?’ Honestly, I have no fucking clue, this came out of just the right amount of beers and too short, shorts.

But second off, seriously how do people just meet people!? Apparently it is no longer acceptable to date the guy you hooked up with behind the bar because that’s trashy????? What!? I used to meet people by running around half naked and 100% drunk in the dorm when I should have been studying for my finals but apparently dating people from the bar is trashy! But honestly, how else are people supposed to meet, it’s not like we trying to bang the whole office here people!

I digress. Back to my current issue of a post college relationship. A big girl relationship. An adult relationship. A mature (if you can ever use that word with me) relationship.

With these adult relationships there are these whole new dynamics that never even crossed my mind while in school like money, living together, and a future. Maybe I was just too much of a player in college and never truly cared for the guys I dated or just knew my Prince Charming would NOT come from Winchester, VA.

These aren’t actually issues but they are things I have actually thought about. Sometimes I need to realize that my finances and terrible budgeting skills can have some effect on us. Like living together! Which we are not currently doing but why do I think about it so much!? Seriously, I have never thought about it before because that was a grown up thing but am I a grown up!? It seems fun to live with him but the whole grown up part, not so much. And why am I constantly wondering about how long we should wait to move in, why hasn’t he asked me yet, who should bring it up first? All valid questions… I think.

Then there’s this whole “L” word. It did not seem like this big of a deal in college in a weird way. But I’m not going to get too into those juicy details just yet, sorry folks. SOME stuff should stay in the relationship.

Adult relationships are weird. I love my relationship, but it’s not the same as college, it’s better. I have someone I can come home to at night and cry to, someone I can talk about my period and bodily functions with and not scare away, and most importantly someone that makes me feel at home in whole new state. These adult relationships are weird but I wouldn’t ask for anyone else to experience it with.

Well this was basically just a rant about how weird relationships have become. Maybe others out there feel the same. Maybe I was just a dick in college and somehow have feelings now, who knows. Well to all experiencing their adult relationships, good luck, and let me know about those weird parts because still curious.

Navigating Work Relationships

Dealing with my first big girl job out of college this is something very new to me and something I’m still trying to figure it out. This wasn’t a course we took in college like Accounting 101. No, because you learn how to do your job (somewhat) in college not how to act even though learning how to act and behave around others you quickly learn is a big factor in your success at the company. I have noticed that sometimes who you’re friends with and how you act can outweigh others performance in the job. And we all know we’re just fighting for the top spot. **insert shoulder shrug emoji**

In my short time working I have learned to categorize everyone into groups and how to act around each and they go as follows:

Big Boss:

Act normal, Rachie. Come on you got this. Don’t mention sucking cock, oh gosh whatever you do don’t mention sucking cock! (Yes, I have a tendency to talk about sucking cock for some reason.)

There are a few of these “Big Bosses” ie the President of the company, the CEO, and the VPs. Obviously I try my best to be relatable with them and get to know them but they don’t need to know that I went skinny dipping with a bunch of random people from the bar last weekend. I actually have to think about what to share with them. Talk about my dog, everyone loves dogs and I like to think mine is pretty adorable (said every dog owner ever).

I’m not trying to hide my personality but there are just somethings that a 50 year old boss doesn’t understand or want to hear about their 23 year old employee. I let my banana love roam free around them, tell them about how I practice aerial, and tell them my plans to one day open an animal sanctuary. It’s them same as when you were a teenager sneaking out and hanging with those “bad, older kids.” It’s not lying, just omitting some facts.

Kinda Boss, Kinda Friend:

These are those superiors that are closer in age and/or just have more fun and wild personalities. If my boss makes a joke about sex you know damn well I’m cumming (you see what I did there) with another sex joke. These are the ones that I’m a bit closer with and will tell them on Monday ‘yeah man, I had one wild weekend. I’m not drinking again for a while.’ While simultaneously not telling them everything. Will I tell them we meant some people that were obviously into my boyfriend and bought us hella shots? Sure. Will I tell them we went skinny dipping with them? Nope, hell naw. (Remember people, I’m newly 23 living in a semi-new city and it’s fucking summertime.)

Work Friends:

I’m telling them I went skinny dipping with swingers over the weekend.

These are the people that help keep me going during work and I tell all of my fun and insane stories to. I can laugh about other people at work with these people and I can be serious with them. They’re that versatile person that is just a good person to have around.

Even though I love these people and always go to them at work I won’t necessarily be hanging out with them on my weekend. It’s not that we don’t want to but we also realize that we have two very different types of fun and two very different groups of friends. Doesn’t mean we don’t love each other any less, just means we have our separate lives.

Work BFFs:

The best of the best. Not only are they hearing my crazy stories but they are part of my crazy stories. We can go out drinking after working and complain about work to each other. We can meet each others significant others. We drunk text each other. And we truly get each other through the work week. We are each others true confidents at work. We help each other no matter and make sure we’re both prospering. It really is a beautiful type of relationship.

These may not be the same for everyone but these categories help me define who I am around each person at work. It can be hard because sometimes you’re tight with the boss and say something then realize you’re 20 years their younger with no family to take care of and they’re there praying their 12 year old daughter doesn’t end up like you.

Good luck to all navigating these weird, weird relationships.

Enjoying the Now

Our entire lives we’re taught to focus on our future. Don’t do this because it’ll mess with your future. Don’t do that either. Stay on the straight and narrow. Work hard and it’ll pay off later. The same thing said to everyone that even thinks about doing something for themself. But why? Why are we so primed to just focus on our futures and told we’re hippies if we’re ‘living in the moment.’

This has been a big topic on my mind lately. I’m in an entry level job not doing exactly what I want but still enjoy the work. So why am I so worried and focused on moving up before I’m necessarily ready or moving into a certain field. Obviously I need to grind and stay relevant and work my ass off to learn what I need to learn and work to get the job I want but why not enjoy where I am. Appreciate it now.

I have an amazing boyfriend, great friends, traveling where I want, and still working in an enjoyable job, what is there to worry about? Why am I still focused on my future life when I’m already feeling as if my twenties are fleeting away.

Maybe this is a me problem or maybe this is the way or society tells us to be. But for now I’m going to focus more on being happy with where I am, to enjoy the journey to where I want to be. I am not just giving up on my dreams and aspirations and bumming out but I’m not going to waste 15 years of my life planning on where I want to be and wanting more only to get there and be old with saggy boobs and going through menopause. That part went a little wild but you get the point. The point is just to enjoy the now. Take that trip you want to take. Get that fucking tattoo. Talk to that boy. And just be happy and content.

On Birthdays…

Picture this; me sitting there in athletic shorts and an old, oversized university sweatshirt, giggling about how I can’t blow out the trick candles. Me! The most conceited, egotistical, attention loving person. But this is all I wanted for my 23rd birthday. Just a day of laziness and happiness and that is what I got.

My past two birthdays have been absolute ragers. Partying all weekend, hell, all week! Making sure everyone knows it is my birthday and I deserve presents and free shots. Not this year! I forgot to even ask my mom where she put my presents! Maybe it’s because I’m in a real relationship, or taking on my first big girl job, or simply because nobody likes you at 23 (at least I know one person does). All I know is that when I was asked about what I wanted the only thing I could think of was love and appreciation. So is this what growing up is like?

I always rolled my eyes at the girls that said they’re too old for the bar/party scene but is that who I’ve become? Given the chance to go downtown, I turned it down to put on sweats, cuddle, and watch “Remember the Titans.” It’s not that I feel too old to go out but I feel no desire to go out and stay up until 5A.M. Is this how those ‘old’ people feel? Have I peaked at 23? Or am I simply tired from this thing we call life? All valid questions running through my head.

I guess it’s safe to say I will no longer be rolling my eyes at people claiming to be too old for the bars. Although kids, remember, you’re only as old as you feel; unless you feel the same age as an actual kid, then just no, not the same.

No matter what you’re feeling, do what makes you happy. If there’s anything I have learned in the past year that I can look forward to at the dreaded number 23 I can say I learned to take care of me first. The people that are meant to be there will stay and understand. But remember to understand others when they need to take care of themselves too. That got a little jumbled there but self care is always the answer. Stay lit peeps.

I’m Back!

I’m back! Bet you thought you seen the last of me! – Or whatever Emma Roberts says in ‘American Horror Story.’

Yes, yes, I took a long hiatus away from my computer, writing, and life in general. Then something great happened- or maybe someone great happened! My absolutely amazing boyfriend bought me a brand new computer! My motivation didn’t come from the gift itself but the fact that he believes in me and supports me in doing what I love. In the past In the past I lacked that support. From my family and past partners I have had boyfriends who never even read my newspaper articles, even after asking them multiple times. This one just knows what I love to do and wants to help contribute to my happiness. Having just one person believe in me has giving me all the courage I have needed.

Okay, cooling it with the sappy “my boyfriend’s the best” stuff and onto my life after college. Wow it’s been one full year and here I am, still missing the roar of the dorms, the laziness of Wednesday, and the craziness of those second floor library study rooms. On the flip side I can’t stop thinking about my future and who I will be. I am stuck in this limbo of wanting to go back and wanting to move forward and never appreciating the present, and I’m sure many folks in their twenties and even thirties know exactly what I’m talking about.

This blog is a place for me to get all of that craziness out of my system, to express these feelings and to hopefully help and connect with others feeling the same way. But it’s not all business on here, this is supposed to be fun because what’s the point of doing something that you’re not enjoying? Honestly, life is long but life can be short, I’m not wasting this time doing something I don’t enjoy (minus that whole waking up for work thing).

Now that I have successfully ranted… enjoy the blog and don’t hesitate to talk!

PS: Enjoy my handsome puppy because I didn’t know what header photo to use 🙂